10.25.2005    Penthouse Girls, Backstage fights and the Johnson Memorial Hospital

    Well, this is the big story that everybody's wondering about and it's doozy. Sometimes in the world of rock-n-roll, things get out of hand and this was DEFINITELY one of those times.

    It all started innocently enough. The band played the 2005 Bean Blossom Biketoberfest, appearing as the headliner on Thursday night and on a Friday night, closing the show after the legendary band Canned Heat. The bus pulled up backstage around 7:30p and everyone settled in to wait for showtime, around 10.

    Passing through the backstage area, Jamie ran into an old friend whose job it was to escort the Penthouse models around the place, as they were there as part of the entertainment for the event. Well, Jamie was introduced to the girls, who were fully dressed and very friendly.  Matthew wandered by also and soon someone took some pictures of the group, for publicity's sake.  After that, the group moved on and that was that.

    By now, the camera that took the pictures was given back to it's owner, Julie, who decided the pictures were not really worthy of residing on her camera's memory and she erased the pictures. Unfortunately, she chose to perform this action right in front of Jamie and Matthew, who expressed their dismay at the destruction of fairly innocent publicity shots of them with two attractive girls. It was at this point that Jamie snatched the camera from her hands and proceeded to launch it through the air and into the night. Some unkind words were exchanged and Jamie stalked off.

    At this point, everything could have been over and done. But, as Jamie passed by the bus, in his anger he took a casual swing at the round mirror affixed to the front of the bus. In the dark and walking downhill, he miscalculated the swing and shattered the mirror. Of course, everyone heard the crash of glass breaking but only Jamie realized the full extent of the damage.

    "I knew I was hurt badly, " he said, "because I couldn't move my last three fingers anymore."

    He rushed onto the bus to assess the damage and discovered he had cut himself deep into his right wrist, just below the hand. By now, a crowd had gathered on the bus and the bleeding was stopped. Jamie announced that a hospital visit was in his immediate future and before long, he was on his way to the hospital with a sobbing Julie, leaving behind one confused and undermanned rock-n-roll band, who was two hours away from playing a show.

    Around 9p, Jamie arrived at the Johnson Memorial Hospital in Franklin, IN and was admitted into the emergency room almost immediately. He received 5 stitches in his wrist, was x-rayed for any remnants of glass and walked out of the hospital around 10:15. 

    "The doc and the nurses did one hell of a job getting me out of there so fast, " Jamie later said. "Of course, I told them the whole story but I'm not sure they believed me."

    Meanwhile, back at the show, the band was faced with going out in front of a thousand bikers without their leader. That's when Big Mike Donaldson stepped up and helped save the day. He grabbed his guitar and amp, threw it on stage and proceeded to go on with the Roosters.  The band nervously tore through the first five songs, doing their best and wondering if how many of the tunes Big Mike knew.

    During the fifth song, Jamie ran onstage, still wearing his shorts and KTM sweatshirt from earlier but sporting some nifty gauze bandages and a couple hospital bands on his wrists. He grabbed his guitar, turned to the band and said, "OK, what song's next?"

    The rest is rock-n-roll history.  

        When you're traveling all the time playing in a band, it's important to keep track of all your equipment
and everything else you need to play a good show. Here's a couple of examples of what can go wrong.

        Sometimes the band plays two shows over a weekend at the same place. When that happens, we
don't tear down all the equipment on stage. We just take the smaller, easier-stolen stuff with us. Like
microphones.

        During one such two-night stand in Worthington, IN, we arrived for the second evening's show
and low and behold, someone forgot the microphones. This creates a problem because the mics are
in Indianapolis and the band is 1.5 hours away. Luckily, the drums were still miked, so the band
played a set using drum mics for guitars and vocals until the real mics showed up.

        Another now-infamous screwup happened last summer, at the ABATE of Kansas Labor Day
Rally in Lawrence, KS. After the opening act left the stage, the crew began to set up the Roosters for
the show. It was then that Jamie discovered his effects pedals and case were not with the rest of his
gear. He became extremely irritated by this because he left the pedals in the bus after the last show
and now they were MIA. It was discovered that some unlucky crew member had removed the
pedals from the bus, thinking that they needed to be in the band's rehearsal space in Mars Hill, IN,
about 500 miles away. After replacement pedals were found and the show went on, it was decided
by everyone that it's best to "ALWAYS LEAVE JAMIE'S PEDALS IN THE BUS!!" To this
day, smart-ass Rooster personnel delight in this mantra, always gleefully exclaiming,
                 "PEDALS LEAVING THE BUS" or "PEDALS GOING TO THE BUS"

        The last story is probably the best. A few years back the band was booked to play in the
little town of Bloomfield, IN. Arriving at the club, the band set up and was ready to play when
Tommy noticed that he had forgotten his stick bag. Now, it's still uncertain as to why he thought
he could play a show without sticks but nevertheless, there they were without drumsticks. I don't
recall who, but someone came up with the idea that anything long and wooden would work as
drumsticks. Well, it was at that point that the bartender produced two wooden salad spoons.
Since no other options were readily available, Tommy the Forgetful played a set with some
poor ladies wooden salad spoons. When the set was over, someone showed up with
drumsticks for Tom and the destroyed and useless spoons were given back to the bartender.

1/24/05        Famous People

        From time to time in the music business, you get to meet famous people.  Or sorta famous. And
sometimes you get to meet someone you've always looked up to for their musical accomplishments. Well,
this RoosterTale is all about our old pal Nick Iaonacci's experience in this area.

        Last July, the band played the Boogie.  We were the opening act on Saturday night, which is usually
the night that they schedule the big headliner act of the year.  Well, last year the big headliner was Kenny
Wayne Shepherd.  Touring with Kenny the last few years were Tommy Shannon on bass and Chris
Layton on drums.  Tommy and Chris also played with another guitar player for years, a guy named
Stevie Ray Vaughn.

        So after we played, Kenny and his group showed up and started getting ready to play.  Well, we
were all a little star-struck, I guess.  I remember I was standing over to one side of the stage and I
heard some guy beating on the drums.  Now, beating on the drums has always annoyed the living hell
out of me and I turned to see who the son-of-a-you-know-what who was making the noise.  And low
and behold, there's Chris Layton on the drums.  Cool!

        Well, about this time or shortly after, Mr. Alley Cat goes strolling up to Chris Layton to say hi
and get an autograph.  He says, and I quote, "Hey, Mr. Shannon. Can I have your autograph?"

        "I'm Chris," says Chris.

        "I knew that," says an embarrassed Nick, "and I can't believe I just did that."

        "It's cool, man. Happens all the time," chuckles Mr. Layton.

        Later on the bus ride home, we were teasing Nick like crazy about his faux pas.  He just
laughed and said "I bet he couldn't play Open Road!"

        Some of you may remember that about a year ago, we got our bus stuck in the mud. If you remember
the pictures, the bus was still yellow at the time.  Then in April, you may remember we painted the old girl
silver.  As the months have gone by, we've continued to improve our touring vehicle.  We remodeled the
interior, making it more comfy for our talented musicians. We've tinted the windows, added air vents,
a furnace, multiple AC inverters, TV and DVD with surround sound and we're getting set to add a
propane-fueled generator so we have AC power all the time.

        We've taken the bus to Kansas and Kentucky, as well as almost everywhere in Indiana.  It is the
ultimate band vehicle.  She holds about 10 people and about 4000 lbs. of PA and equipment.  We
played some pretty big venues this summer so we really had to pack the gear in there.  It's also
nice to have someplace away from the fans and curious nuts who want to get close to our boys
during breaks or after the show.  Of course, people always assume the band's out in the bus
doing drugs or something when in reality, they're probably sleeping, playing poker or just staring
off into space with their ears ringing.  The latter happens more than you would think.

        Go to the Photos section of the website this month to see some cool pix of the bus.
 

        We thought some of you out there might be wondering where Nick got his nickname, The Alley Cat.
Well, it's not that long of a story and since he's leaving the band, we thought it might be fitting to give
 you the whole tale.

        It's always been a Rooster tradition to verbally spar with each other while setting up and tearing down
at shows.  We've been doing it forever and when a new guy gets into the group, it's a lot of fun to see
if the new meat can take the punishment.  Usually a new guy takes a while to get the hang of it, but not
Mr. Ionnacci.

        Well, if you've ever been to Worthington, Indiana,  you know that the Alley Cat bar is a rundown
old building which hasn't seen a customer since the fifties.  The roof fell in a couple years ago and the
back door is missing.

        It was down in Worthington one night and we're setting up.  We each have our little jobs to do
during this process and Nick was new, so all he knew to do was set up his amps and such.  Well, we're
giving him hell about how he doesn't know anything and how he's not helping.  He takes it for a while
and then he suddenly announces that we're all gonna be sorry when he goes next door and plays a solo
gig at the Alley Cat Bar.  After the laughter died down, he was named the Alley Cat.

        You can see a picture of the Alley Cat bar and the Alley Cat himself in the photo section of the
website this month.  We're dedicating it to Nick.  He'll probably have something smartass to say
about it.

        So we get booked to play the Labor Day Rally in Kansas two years ago.  Last year, we flew by private plane
to the rally and that was cool..  However, this year we needed to take more people and gear so we decided to rent a
a 15 passenger van.  Well, at the last minute, we find out someone lied to us about how much a van would cost and we
were looking at twice the money we were expecting to pay.  Long story short: load up the bus.

        For those of you who don't know, our bus lacks a road gear.  That means the thing tops out at 65 mph.  Well, the
show was 600 and some odd miles away, so we left on Thursday night.  Well, you coop up 8 barnyard idiots like us for
very long and hijinx will inevitably ensue.  About 3 hours into the trip, Jamie decides to watch a DVD.  So he's back
there plugging everything in when he notices something amiss in the power inverters.  As he begins his scientific trouble-
shooting, Matthew reports from the driver seat that the amps are spiking wildly.  He yells at his brother for messing
around.  At this point, Louie becomes involved.  Now they're in trouble.  Jamie's trying to figure out how wire up the
inverters, Louie's trying valiantly to tell him and Matthew's yelling at both of them to stop because he's afraid they'll
blow up the alternator leaving the band stranded on the side of the road in Illinois.  While this is going on, Jamie becomes
distracted enough to wire one of the inverters backwards and it immediately catches on fire.  While Jamie swears
there were no flames, the bus promptly begins filling with smoke.  Now Matthew really goes off and Jamie gets pissed
and retires to the back of the bus in anger and disgust.

          The crew limps in to St. Charles, MO, at about 1:15am, where they were slated to spend the night.  Everyone
retires to their rooms immediately and doors are slammed.  But then the drummer decides it's time to gamble and he
recruits Jamie and Julie to accompany him.  One thing led to another and before you know it, the Ameristar casino
on the banks of the Mississippi River had $200 of Tommy's money.  Tom believed that you bet on Ace-King in
Carribbean Stud rather than waiting on a pair.  I guess gambling money really doesn't have a home.

        Next day, our boys are back on the road and everybody's talking to everyone again.  All is well.  At this
point, it's important to note that Julie, Beth and Louie's wife Liz are making the bus stop for the bathroom at
least every two hours.  So the going is slow.  Our intrepid voyagers are an hour away from the gig when they
happen upon a toll booth.  Jamie's the driver and he gets his ticket and heads on down the road, forgetting that
with the driver's window open the airflow sucks everything out the window that isn't nailed down.  At only 45
mph, bam, there goes the ticket.  Jamie grimaces, tightens his grip on the wheel and says in his best CW Macall
voice that "we just ain't a gonna pay no toll!"  Well, they paid the toll and made to the gig.

        The show went well, considering Jamie's pedals were left at home, even though THEY NEVER LEAVE
THE BUS!!!!

        After the show, and a second showing of GG Allen's video in the Eclipse bus with Big Mike, the band
loaded up and headed home around 1:30am.  By 2:00am, everyone was asleep except for Matthew
and Louie, who stayed awake to rub Matthew's arms to keep him awake.  Don't ask.

        Jamie took over the wheel at 5am and drove the rest of the way to Indy.  And if you've never brushed your
teeth in a Hardee's bathroom, you're missing out. Just watch out for the drunken old guy with piss stains on
his pants.

        There were no other fights on the way home either.  Probably because everyone was asleep most of
the time.  Except for Liz.  She was asleep all of the time.

        Arriving in Indy around 12:30pm, everyone went home to change their clothes. The bus left Indy around
3:30pm and drove to London, KY for the RoosterJam on Sunday.  Point of interest for those in small
pickups driving around Danville, Ky.  Don't mess with the silver bus.  It weighs 20,000 lbs. and the guys
who drive it know how to use it.  Those stupid ego-fueled stunts may work on cars but not the big fella.

        Kentucky was fun;  Jamie's KTM cracked the cylinder head, Tom's daughter broke a bone in her
hand falling off her ATV, Matthew got hung up in a creek, some family members blew out a tire on I-64
outside of Louisville, and Louie hit his head.

        But then again, Louie's always hitting his head.